Dear Diary....

Now I only have 10 official followers and since I haven't been keeping up to date on this here blog I don't even know how many of them actually read this regularly. But the more I think about it at the rate I'm going at this blog almost seems like a journal or diary.

Remember when you were a kid, mostly likely the girls will associate with this one better then the others, and you had a diary? I remember my first diary. I got it from my aunt (along with this gorgeous strawberry bubble bath) and it was hot pink and fuzzy. I only wrote in it an average once a year and I think I may still have the pages around here somewhere....as my roommate from last year can tell you, I like to hoard things.

As I got older I started a prayer journal that I kept up steady for at least a year. At first it was just me writing down the Lord's Prayer and the 'Now I lay me down to sleep' poem, but as weeks progressed I started to add my own personal thoughts. Eventually it was a journal that I used to talk about the good times and the bad times, but mostly the bad times. Things that were frustrating or stressing me out, who I was hopelessly in love with (and by that I mean that it was hopeless), who made me angry, cry or laugh. After I filled up a book I would through it out. It was my way of committing everything that I wrote to God. Sure it may have been cool to look back on it someday and reread everything but if I recall correctly it mostly consisted of me when I was upset. Over time I have learned to bring both the good and the bad the God and perhaps journaling would be a good thing to start up again.

Well now you know a bit more about the inner me, something that not many people know but also something I hope to slowly change.

Hopefully I can catch you up to where I am in my life currently and keep you interested at the same time. So did you every have a diary or journal? What did you use it for?

Popping Bubbles

You know my very first blog post and this blog in general is about the bubbles that I have and will blow in my life, the memories that I will and have made and the experiences that I have experiences. Many of these bubbles have been happy as I continue my second semester at a Christian school 900+ kilometers away from home. But as will all things in life not everything is perfect.

Recently a bubble that I blew popped. Why? - maybe I had been squeezing it too hard or maybe just because it was time - however it happened I think I managed to get some of the soapy suds in my eye. So what am I going to do now? What do you do during the tough times in your life? Well I have several solutions. I can pretend that all is well and that I am not hurt and put on my 'I'm terrific, how are you?' and forget about myself and my problems like I have been prone to do in my past. I can bury myself in my school work and just withdraw from other things - after all it would be nice to bump up my 2 C's and 1 C+ to somewhere in the B or even A range this semester. Or maybe I can just accept the fact that I am hurting, deal with it and yes perhaps even lead a normal life. That last one sounds like the best but it also sounds like the hardest considering my habits over the past several years involved me hiding aways anything that would make me feel or give the impression that I am less then happy. But do you know what? It is okay to hurt - if is a fact of life, and sometimes its okay to be selfish and think about yourself once in a while.

I have pin pointed why I feeling so confused last last week and dealt with it and now that I have I think I will continue to journal. Not only is it a good excuse to go over to the coffee shop next door and order my favorite drink of White Hot Chocolate but it helps me to have a sense of peace and it a way that I really enjoy talking to God.

Anyways - back to homework and this tasty chocolate cake with marvolous icing and a cherry filling!

So what do you do when your 'bubbles' pop?

New Year

It is the begining of a new year, a new semester and lately I've been thinking.......actually I don't know what I have been thinking lately - lately my brain has been feeling like it is outta comission, that is isn't really working or that part of it has taken a holiday and left me behind.

Ever get that feeling?

On a side note I have started to journal again. I used to journal almost everyday and then stopped for a year and then started again - did that a couple times until I stopped a couple years ago. I have always found journaling a great way for me just to understand how exactly I am feeling and thinking, understand it better, and, if it is anything less then postitive, deal with it. I also find it a great way to talk and think about things that I wouldn't share with others. I'm not journaling everyday but just when I feel like it and I have found that it is very peacefull and helps me to clear my head and feel less stress.

So do you journal? Why or why not? How do you deal with emotions that you don't openly share with others?