WHY?

Time for another midnight posting. Yes I know it is not midnight right now but in Alberta (my second home) it almost is and I feel like it is midnight and once again my thoughts are going deep.

Why? Why do we think so much? Like I know that we have brains and thinking is good, but is is possible to think to much? IS there such a think as over-analyzing something and at what point is it healthy to think about something and at what point does it become over-analyzing?

Maybe I am just a tad prejudiced about thinking because it is not something that I do much - I mean not something that do it purposefully just for fun. I don't see the point in philosophizing about the finer points of life or debating about minor (or major) details. I don't know why we have to know everything about how the world works, how life exists and why. I understand that some of this is good and that perhaps most of it is good but have we gone to far in trying to figure out the structure of the universe?

Is ignorance bliss? and is okay to be ignorant? Is it weird to know that you are ignorant and like it? I know that I am ignorant of many things, and some of those things I am happy that I don't know a ton about.

Maybe I am thinking too deep again...maybe that's why I have a headache (or maybe it is just a cold that I am catching)....

So what do you think about philosophy? And am I making any sense (and do I ever make any sense?)?

Future

As the new year approaches and I reach another milestone in my still short life a lot of things are starting to come into question, especially as the matter of my future comes into light. Now personally I would be totally happy with getting married, settling down, raising a family and being a stay at home mom but I am too practical and know that it could be a while. It's not like I can go to a store and pick out a life plan and a husband and then commence the rest of my life...although the idea sounds kinda nice............

I've been thinking a lot about where I want to go, what I want to do, yet always trying to be aware of where God might be calling me and where His will for me lies but often it is so hard to hear his voice or to try to pick out which is His voice and which is just the world and which is just you and what you want.

And then of course there is family and friends who have there own ideas of what you should do or who are hoping that you'll go somewhere or become something or are at least close to them.

Sometimes - like to day I wonder 'What is the meaning of life?' I know ultimately it is to praise God but besides that life basically seems to be about trying to earn money so we can provide for ourselves and be comfortable before we die and of course to try to achieve true happiness though many different things (family, job, money, friends, 'religion' etc.) and sometimes we can, especially those of us who have a strong faith but is that all life is about? It just seems to be a big circle - yes I am going to say it - a circle of life, of people living and dying and striving to be better or to get something better and to find their purpose in life.


Sometimes thinking like this makes me want to cry...sometimes I feel frustrated...occasionally I have had the feeling of wanting to take something breakable and smash it or see if I squeezed it hard enough it would break in my hands I did that with a plastic communion cup once).....and sometimes I just start feeling like just another ant in an ant hill following a line and freaking out when the path is broken, yet I eventually find a way around it....I just need to find my way around this one.

So here I am on Boxing day, contemplating, thinking, waiting, wondering.....and hoping my head won't explode with all of it.

So what have you been pondering lately?

Waiting

For the past 2 1/2 hours I have been sitting in the Calgary airport. I was only to have waited for 1.5 hours but it just so happened that there was a delay in the flight. And unfortunately my brain is already half dead from finishing exams this week (first semester at University done!!) so I have not felt up to my usually contemplation of life, the world and all things good and evil so instead have wasted time on facebook, talking to friends here and there (well that is not really a waste of time) and sipping on a rootbeer float from A&W. Speaking of which you really need to try a A&W rootbeer milkshake - I love them and they are great for dipping fries into.

So here I am...sitting, waiting for my flight so that I can head home. I am a bit tired but still sooo excited to be heading home to my family and friends!

So what are you waiting for?

Catching My Breath....

I have decided to take a breather between exams right now. So far I have completed 3 out of 5 exams. I had one last Thursday, one yesterday, one this morning and I have one this afternoon too. Then I have a 2 1/2 day break until late Friday afternoon where I have my last one. I am a tad disappointed that I have to wait so long to do my last exam otherwise I would have been able to go home sooner. You may say that it gives me more time to study but how much can you study grammar? I understand that Effective Writing is good and maybe even necessary but I like to think I know how to use a comma by now....thanks to my mom making me do grammar books every single year for at least 5 years (thanks mom!). But then there is always something new that you can learn and I guess this gives me extra time to hang out with my friends before Christmas break...and maybe even pick up the Effective Writing book and actually do some studying.

So what do you need a breather from?

Ever Get the Feeling....?

Ever get the feeling that someone doesn't like you? And in a way you don't care but then in a way it still hurts a bit?
Ever get the feeling that no matter how many people are around you, you are still alone?
Ever get the feeling that you want to cry an ocean but the tears won't come or you don't want to show weakness to others?
Ever get the feeling that someone is watching you and when you turn around no one is there?
Ever get the feeling that no one is actually listening to you or what you have to say isn't as important as the next person?
Ever get the feeling that no matter how much you study you still won't do that hot on that test?
Ever get the feeling that you're feeling to much?

I am a strong feeler, on a recent personality test that I took I scored 95% feeler and 5% thinker which sounds just about right. And while I love and rely on my feelings a lot and they help me to be in-touch with most of those around me I sometimes get the feeling that I feel too much, that if I didn't feel so much I wouldn't get hurt or maybe be able to understand things or people better. Or maybe I've just been thinking too much.

So what have you been feeling lately?

Morrison Traditions

Every family has their own traditions, some of them big, some of them small. A good amount of Morrison family traditions center around food. For example for our family games night it is not a true family games night unless everyone has their favorite munchies, some chips and pops, mix that with games and our family each with our own sense of humour and how can we not have a good time?

With Christmas around the corner there are even more traditions. My mom will most likely make her famous caramel corn which we shall all enjoy snacking on.This tradition usually centered around decorating the Christmas tree although this year with 3 daughters away from home my mom took on the task of getting the house ready for Christmas. Christmas cookies have and will be made and eaten. and then, one of my favorite food/family tradition is Christmas Eve. Right before we head out to Christmas Eve service the family works together to prepare and appetizers night with fruit, crakers, cheese, and veggie platter, along with mini sausages and other little treats. Every year we say we will cut back on the snacks that night, but just like with our presents (about which we say we will only be getting a few of), it never seems to really change from year to year. Of course when we come back home we gather around in our Christmas clothes and feast, laugh about the year and enjoy each others company. Victoria and I, as the youngest, usually get to open one present and then late at night we continue to snack as the two of us snuggle up and watch a movie until we fall asleep only to wake up several hours later to Christmas morning which always contains candie in our stockings, Captain Crunch Cereal and hopefully homemade cinnamon buns.

These are just a few of our family traditions and now I shall go and indulge myself in one that my sister and I used to share...juice (or pop), several pieces of pizza and a good movie?

So what are some of your family traditions related to food?

Ashley

What is Love

I pretty much always enjoy having long talks with friends about life. And while I may not always agree with how they view things it causes me to think in more detail. For while I can think (which may be a shock to some of you I know) I rely more on my feelings then my thoughts. For example in all professional personality tests I am always an F - a feeler

A while back I had a nice talk with one of my friends out here in Calgary. I unfortunately was half asleep and slightly stressed so I wasn't able to think as much as I would have liked to but the conversation we had remains in the back of my mind as well as the question that came up. Is Love a choice or is it involuntary? After our conversation I cannot say for sure that either one is correct. In fact I believe that love can be both. For example the love that parents have for their children is involuntray. Yet then we choose to love God and we choose to 'love' our neighbors. We also choose when we don't want to love someone. But then what about falling in love? Is that a choice that you make or is it automatic? If it is a choice then how do you know that you made the right choice when marrying someone, or if it is automatic is it from God or just your hormones and thoughts pumping overtime?

I have not had much experience in love myself, outside my family, church and group of my friends, and alot of what I believe in comes from my own experiences or the experiences of those around me. But I do have a wonderful boyfriend (Matthew Stinson) who I must say that I love a lot. So was this love a choice or did it just happen? If I recall correctly it was one of those things that just happened. I had known him for a couple years now and while the first time I saw him I thought he was kinda cute I didn't ever expect that I would actually end up liking him in that way, in fact on time I was afraid that he might like me and tried to avoid him for a while because I just wanted to be friends. Last winter I had decided to give up on guys for a while and finally just rejoice in my singleness and that it is possible to be just friends with guys. Ha! Well that didn't last long for as spring rolled around I started to like Matt as more then just a friend, although, as my best friend will testify, I strongly denied for a while that I liked him. I feel that this feeling that I had came around on its own (or from some higher source =D) but I admit that I went along with it, I could have chosen to stop this feeling but I didn't. And finally ('cause if you know me you know that Matt is my first boyfriend and actually the first person to actually ask me out...unless you count those grade 1 and 5 encounters) it all worked out as that August he asked me out and I said yes. We now have been dating for 4 months and I'm as happy as ever.

So what do you think, is all love a choice? Or just some of it? Why do you think so?